Gatorboooots, pimped out gucci suuuit.

Bonjour mon aimes. Ahhh, aujourd hui.. Today was.. Indescribable to say the least.. Everything is good tho ! Slowly climbing on the academic ladder, slowly, lazily. But gettting there. Skating is fun, but I gotta push it more for the Ground zero comp.. First time competing, I wanna have as much fun as possible. And things in general are goood. But I just feel like a nuisance at times.. As if I do none good. Like I don't do enough despite the thanks and signs of appreciation delivered unto me. I feel as if I hold people back from what they want to achieve. That I'm one of the agitating obstacles that are in their way to their goals. I'm fed up with the feeling that I'm no good to anyone. Although the feeling isn't so strong.. It's quite bothersome. I feel that all I do is bother the girlfriend now. I know it's early to trip, but I don't care. I'm gonna say what I wanna say. I'm starting to realize how busy she is. Socially, family, academically occupied. Minus myself. What I'm saying is I just feel like I don't matter atm. Like, I'm whatever. You know ? Again, this feeling is in the least form of abundance and doesn't interfere with my natural joy. But that doesn't mean it's not gonna bother you ? I feel that all I do for my family is just be a nuisance. And that's the only thing they see me as.. A no good, disrespectful nuisance. I'm tired of this repetitive cycle of emotions. I want change ! I wish for a dramatic self-change to better myself and those around me. I'm sick of the fact that I don't bring as much happiness to the world as I wish to do. Bored of just wishing and dreaming this change will come soon.


Done.


Bye.



Au revoir.


Ma'alam.


So long !


You're gonna get it. If you truly know me, you should know I keep all of my promises and I say what I mean. Things I say shouldn't be taken as a simple joke. Nonetheless, if I make it evident that I'm inferring to content in a humorous manner. I'll make it obvious when I'm just messing around or joking. There's many words floating in my ocean of a mind right now.. Words that I can only wish to say. Words that I'm so far from ever having the right to speak. To be able to say.. "I accomplished something major" or "I made everybody happy today". Goodbye to this ignorant contemplation of lazily goal-chasing. I've gotta push that envelope.. I've gotta do better. Life's to short for regret. I can't stop now. This is it, settling the score with this indefinite internal conflict that never ever seems to end. A promise is what I propose. To do better and try my best at all. I WILL succeed. I'm not gonna bite the dust this time.. It's time to hit the gong harder. Kill procrastination. To get out there more and show people up. To prove I'm not what you think I am. That I'm more than what I seem.. I've got nothing to prove to you. Not her, not him. Not anybody. I'm doing this for myself. To prove to myself that I can say those words that I wish I could say. To feel that satisfactory goodness that I made people happy. To be looked at different because of what I have accomplished within myself. Taste the glory. Fight the pain. It's now, as I finish this gripe. A matter of time, if you will. Before I shower in accomplishment. These emotions have yet to climax. My plate is yet to be filled. My priorities are yet to be straightened out. Getting my act together and making a difference. It's what I'm gonna do.




Nuff' said. Let's do this..