When you decided to knock on my door, did you remember what happened before?

Skateboarding. It can be a hobby, a passion, a lifestyle, a joke, a tv show, a movie, it's just versatile like any sport in a sense. There's a sense of repetitiveness, similar to any sport as well. But as a skateboarder, I tend to sometimes forget how much more versatile skateboarding can literally be felt.

It's something very close to me actually. I think more so for the friendships it's brought upon.. I've had some of the best times of my life out there with peers on a skateboard. It's really just a beautiful thing.. But lately, that's been evidently absent from my life. It's been really messing with me, honestly.. And because of this, I've been thinking negatively about skateboarding. Thinking about how common it is now. How many people out there can relate to me. How many people expect me to bust some pro shit every single time just from watching me skate only once. It's been getting hectic. I guess, I'm just looking at that wrong.. I mean, if anything. I skateboard for myself, and only myself. It gives me such a great feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. I need more skating in my life, as much as I had before.. I miss when I didn't see the whole picture of skateboarding, and the skateboarding world. I really just wish I can just only see my skateboard when I skate.. Know what I'm saying? It's like, a pressure to skateboard lately. I bet you half the kids out there do not skate for themselves anymore. I mean, I got out there because I thought it looked fun, and I've always wanted to take it up since I was young playing Tony Hawk games. (Lmao)


But it doesn't really matter in the end, the negativity. Because I'm always gonna be skateboarding. It's something, for me.. And only for me. And if I keep that thought ahead of me, I might actually feel much more accomplished and satisfied about it.




I'll addd more later. I just felt like compiling these skate videos that inspire me most..

































I'll addd more later. I just felt like compiling these skate videos that inspire me most..

Those who fight further,

Awhh man. Here we are again.. This feeling. It aches of agony. I'm definitely in a lacking state.. A state of irony and resentment. Wallowing in misery ascribed from an absent obelisk no longer distinctively visible and meaningful; I seem to feel. What was once a great joy noticeable by my peers and those around me, is now an empty shadow casted from the times of yesterday. I don't know why.. I'd really like to know why. I just wanna be genuinely happy.. I want to carefree, like I should feel right now..


I feel as if something big is to come in the not too distant future.. Something that's very close to me.. Or possibly someone. I feel as if my nemesis of a negative stature is beckoning to ascend once more. It's dreadfully abominable, this feeling. This gesture, foreshadows an obscure abhor which opposes my whole purpose of living..


Go away.

When I'm, when I'm,

The best has seem to have come. I don't want it to leave.. And it's showing signs. Please stay.. This is where the best ever belongs. With me! And my life now.. By best I mean the best times, and the peak of my joy. But Idk.. People around me seem to ruin that for me I guess. Whatever, fuck all you guys I guess. It's whatever really.. I'm just trying to do me, and make me. Being happy with my Honey and livin' it up with friends is all I care about right now. I definitely need more skating tho.. Ahh. I'm going to try my best.. Because right now all I'm begging for is better times. Meaning, more to come other than what's going on..

"I'm not trying to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately."

And I say the same thing ever single time,

You really are simply the best. I fucking love you. I'm. You've made me so happy today you don't even know. I know I'm going to have you forever Honey.. You're really the best thing that's ever happened to me..


I can't believe how I feel right now, honestly.. I've never felt so happy in my life.. I've never understood how it felt when I would read in books and see in movies how happy someone could be that they burst crying until now..


Forever baby. Really..

Just me and you on silver lining dreams,

I feel like shit. I don't know how much of this I can take.. I wanna just tear our parts of me that hold me back from being happy.. It seems like there's no way around them..

Inadequacy in my intelligence and my abilities give an evidently dull shine.

And a question mark continues to stalk this thing called 'truth' and 'unconditional love'



It's just disgusting.. I wanna feel good about things, and about myself. I really just want to feel goood right now.



Maybe I'm just exhausted from today. Maybe I'm sleep deprived. Idk.. Who knows. But all I know is I feel shitty right now because I think I'm 100% inadequate and that the source of my happiness feeds from a lie..